It Really Doesn't Count
by RedAlert98
Summary: Dick shot Wally the dirtiest look ever. The redhead raised his eyebrows at him. Watching them, Roy started raising his eyebrows as well : Plotless story, questions and arguing between Roy, Wally, and Dick, Rated T for safety, Friendship, humor, No slash


"This is stupid."

Sprawling on his faded couch, Roy continued; "We already KNOW everything about each other, so what the point of this guys?"

"Shuddup Roy, take your paper - this is your list of questions to ask whichever one of us you choose," Wally retorted, while handing him a paper him and Dick had scribbled on.

"Come ooooon Roy, its a game!" Dick added, proceeding to jump onto the couch, landing on Roy's shins and ignoring the pained 'oof!'

Accompanied by his snacks, Wally took a seat in the chair, declaring that the game had now begun.

"Dick, you first."

"Alrighty," the 13 year old said, shifting himself so he was comfortable on top of Roy's lower extremities. "My first question is, for Roy: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?"

"Hell yes," Roy grinned, "I'd shoot him in the leg and we split the cash. Or better yet, I shoot him and he shoots me in the leg too and we both get ten mil. Boom"

"See, thats what Dick and I had said," Wally told him.

"Alright, my turn," Roy looked at his paper, "Wally, in one sentence, how would you describe you and your best friend?"

Laughing, Wally said, "I'm fast and he's flexible."

Dick face-palmed. "Thats not what it sounds like."

"Suuuure it isn't," Roy teased, smirking.

"Ohmygosh Roy, we aren't a couple. And its Wally's turn now.

"Okay: who would be the hottest one here if gender bent?"

"Me." Roy stated, "Next!"

"No way Roy-"

"Ya, I'd totally be the hottest genderbent,"

"It's obviously me guys."

"Wally, you're not even supposed to answer the question!"

"We're not gonna argue over this for the whole game, just settle it by making an online survey!" Roy exclaimed, "My turn!"

"Why is this question even on here, I already know his answer - Dick, your favorite cartoon character?"

"Kim possible. She's freakin awesome, man."

"Hm." Roy slipped into thought, "I'd personally go for Shego."

Wally snorted and Dick quipped, "You would, wouldn't you."

"I think you guys skipped me," Dick said,

"No, I think I was the one skipped," Wally countered,

"Someone just go!"

"OkAYY, chill Roy."

"I'll go," Dick continued,"Roy: Screw, marry, kill?"

"We'd need one more person," he replied.

"Okay, theoretically add Kaldur."

"Well if we're adding Kaldur to screw marry kill then why not the genderbend question?" Wally asked,

"I'd still say me."

"Guys, stay on track. Roy, choose between me Wally and Kaldur: screw, marry, kill?"

Roy stared at them, deep in thought for what felt like forever (especially for Wally) but was in fact 2 minutes at the most.

"Well?!" Wally probed, grinning.

"….I'm not gonna say."

"Oh come on!"

"There's no coming out on top, clean, or without hours of debate on that one. No way."

"But you thought about it and chose which ones," Dick asked,

"Yes,"

"Tell us!" Wally demanded,

"….nah."

"Fine. It's MY TURN now, since you guys skipped me." Wally said, "So. Dickie bird: first kiss?"

Dick shot Wally the dirtiest look ever. The redhead raised his eyebrows at him. Watching them, Roy started raising his eyebrows as well.

"I haven't-"

"OH YES YOU HA-" Wally interrupted, jumping up in his chair, pointing his finger at Dick.

"THAT DOESN'T COUNT WALLACE!" Dick raised himself up on Roy's legs, defensively yelling at his friend.

"YOU BET YOUR A-"

"I WON'T, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"ALRIGHT QUIET DOWN, WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?!" Roy shouted,

"IT. DOESN'T. COUNT!" Dick insisted,

"YES. IT. DOES!"

Wally was grinning like the cheshire cat, while Dick was fuming and killing Roy's shins.

"Dude, get off," he pleaded, and Dick obliged. "Now what the HELL is this kiss thing all about."

Dick crossed his arms in front of him and glared grumpily at Wally, who was downing a soda and somehow still managing to wear a devilish grin on his face.

"Wally claims that last May, when he had to give me CPR in the aftermath of that ambush by the Joker, that that means he was my first kiss, but I say it doesn't COUNT."

"Kiss of life dude! Its literally in the name!" Wally insisted,

"Its a metaphor!" Dick exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"Roy?"

"ROY!"

Said adult in the room looked at them both blankly, knowing better than to take sides. He wouldn't hear the end of it for years if he did.

"Well…" Roy started, choosing his words carefully, "Technically is was a kiss, since it IS in the name, but doesn't count as a 'first' kiss because the obvious circumstance of Dick not being alive at that moment.

"But that doesnt-"

"Hey thats not fair!"

Rolling his eyes, Roy settled back, defeated in the fact that he would be listening to this for the next 3 hours.

"Well thats screwed up-"

"You're just mad cause you weren't awake for it!"

"As IF!"

In unison, they both yelled,

"ROY!"

* * *

Lol, so did it count as a first kiss or no?


End file.
